Belonging

Growing up is hard. Heck, being an adult is hard! My daughter has wrestled her way from Kindergarten to third grade, navigating the social bits of being a young lady. Girls can be so mean. As a mom, it’s hard to coach from the sidelines – especially when it’s similar to what you experienced. My heart breaks, knowing it’s likely she may wrestle with these same struggles for years to come, if not a lifetime. Recently we’ve talked about how God makes us all unique, and it’s hard to fit in when we’re all meant to stand out, being uniquely accepted in love together.

We want so desperately to fit in, to belong. Yet with the ‘fitting in’ to one group, we’re excluded from another. This is something I’ve struggled with since I was old enough to have an awareness about it. I’m guessing you have too. It’s not been until my mid-thirties that things started to fit within me. Oh, there have been inklings all along, but it felt a bit fuzzy and incomplete. Some days, it still does.

This week I began reading Brené Brown’s book, Braving the Wilderness. I love the work she’s doing. I’m not deep into the pages yet, but have already had so many ‘YES!’ moments. And one really big Ah-ha. One of those moments came when Brené brought attention to a quote from an interview with Maya Angelou done on public television with Bill Moyers, 1973.

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.” – Maya Angelou

Yes. That quote may be hard to wrap your head around, but for me it spoke truth. Our daughter had been struggling with her enjoyment of space, friends thought she was weird for it and excluded her. But should she abandon that desire, based on reasons and opinions other than her own? That’s a high price. We are meant to hold tight to those dreams and desires placed within us upon our creation.

God has created each of us with a necessary and innate sense to belong to something more than ourselves, while being who He created us to be. It’s part of what causes us to seek Him. Yet, we sell out to the world around us in order to fit in and belong. We are each unique; therefore, we will never fit perfectly into anything other than the creation we are meant to be. We are meant to be unique and authentic, placed on the Creator’s timeline and fulfilling a unique purpose, designed specifically for each creation (you and me) – thus fitting perfectly. Denying who I am – who I BE – is denying the Creator of His creation. It’s living a life that’s not congruent or authentic to that which is within.

Being that which we are created for is imperative to ourselves, those around us, and to the Lord. He leads by example with His first direct revelation of himself in Exodus 3:14 as he appears to Moses in the burning bush, calling Moses forth to be his purpose. “God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.” That ‘I AM’ can be translated from the Hebrew, I BE who I BE.

I believe striving ceases when we rest in our real and authentic self, a true reflection of the Creator’s Creation. I’m not sure about you, but I want to be that – a true reflection. Striving tends to wear me out, gets me turned around, and unhappy. I’d rather be happy, and rest in my Creator. Exploring who I am as a reflection of the Creator will take a lifetime, and I’m okay with that process.

I am a complete and powerful woman, made of God’s love. How about you?

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Photo by Brina Blum on Unsplash 
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Exercising opportunity, rather than my excuses

Over the past few months, I’ve been putting a higher priority on exercise. It’s not some New Year’s resolution that started early, or an attempt to lose weight. It was a desire for my body to feel more energetic and healthy. In the process of writing a Bible study over the past 18 months, I’ve set in a chair for hours on end! It’s not something I’ve ever been used to. And my body was feeling the effects.

It started with a few minutes on the elliptical at the YMCA, and maybe walk a few laps on the track afterwards. That first day, I was toast after 15 minutes on that machine. And I was embarrassed. Not due to judgmental looks of others, but my own realization to how out of shape I had gotten.

After a few weeks of hit-and-miss workouts, I decided to run a little after the elliptical. It felt so good. To stretch out my legs and find a rhythm, even if it didn’t last long.

This past Sunday, after a little nap, I woke up to a text from a dear friend. She had gone for a run. We’ve been holding one another accountable, and I felt the encouragement to not sit idle on the couch after my nap. So – the shoes went on and out the door I went. While on this particular jog, a few things really stuck out to me…

Excuses. “I woke up Sunday morning, still feeling ‘off’. I’m still not feeling 100%. But it’s Sunday, a day of rest! I wasn’t planning to run today.” Excuses. Reasons are not going to get the results I desire – a healthy body that feels good. And there is no way to get around excuses, but to put forth the effort with a ‘want to’. Wanting the results more than wanting (or living with) excuses.

Comparison. This 39-year-old mom, is not a 17-year-old cross country athlete any more. It is unfair to compare my body, and what it can do today, to my body 20+ years ago. It was exciting to have the realization that I was running again. (With no expectation attached.) It was a relief to know that it’s okay for me to not be able to run 8 miles without a hitch, and be gratefully proud of the 2 miles I was pushing so hard for now. Accepting myself, right where I am today, was powerful. Knowing that it’s not a competition between the 17 and 39-year-old, was a gift. It was about being the best reflection of who God created, in that moment. Letting go of that comparison, was freeing.

Opportunity. With warmer temps, I ran outdoors. (Self-proclaimed cold-weather-weenie.) I could have chosen to live with the reasons and sit on the couch all afternoon, but I chose to run. Had I not made that choice, I would have missed an incredible opportunity with the Lord and His creations. As I crested a large hill, and felt the urge to walk, but encouragement came. I witnessed an eagle hunting in a field, just a few yards away. It was magnificent. With some holy experiences, the details are meant to be kept to ourselves. This was one of them. Had I not gotten up off that couch and taken a step, it’s likely this encounter with God would have been missed.

I do not wish to live with my excuses and self-comparison. Instead, it is my desire to live in the opportunity to experience encounters with others and Creation. We can choose results over our reasons. What’s holding you back? What is one step could you take, today?

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“He gives strength to the faint
and strengthens the powerless.
Youths may become faint and weary,
and young men stumble and fall,
but those who trust in the Lord
will renew their strength;
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not become weary,
they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:29-31 (CSB)  Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash