Everyone has them, days where your mind gets the best of you. You go down the mental gravel road and get stuck in a pot hole. When life is regimented with work and daily responsibilities are lined out so plainly, I don’t go down the road nearly as often. I’m learning that although not always fun, for me a regular job is the safe and easy path. Known and predictable. However, in this current season I’m making some different choices. I’m choosing to follow something that, although loaded with freedom and growth, it is anything but known or predictable. Therefore, I frequently take off down the gravel road with Doubt and Questioning as my sidekick. To tell you the truth, it’s becoming frustrating and rather annoying. I start the day with expectation and it morphs into anxiety.
I’m learning to get myself out and redirected before I get too far down the road. So yesterday, even in the heat of the day and plagued with fall allergies, I took a long and brisk walk down our gravel road. Just to get my body moving and provide a change of scenery. During walks, my mind can be thoughtful, prayerful or completely blank. It helps me re-center.
On my walk yesterday, I headed towards the highway. My mind had been somewhere
between prayerful and blank much of the way. However, as I approached the highway I was talking to my Creator and asking if I was indeed on the right road with Him. I paused for a few moments before turning around and heading home. The visit continued, head down as I watched the gravel pass by at my feet. “Perhaps I’m supposed to be on that road over there?” (imagining several roads to choose from) And then, I looked up. There was only one road, and I was on it. No other choice in sight.
At this, I paused. “Thank you, Lord.” I surveyed the road ahead. I could see a little ways in front of me, but then the road disappeared. I knew it was there (I had just walked it), but couldn’t see it. Then a bit further ahead the road rose and came back into view, providing a little peek. It felt like He had given me enough of a peek of the road ahead to know that I’m on the right one, with plenty unseen to be kept me in a place of reliance and trust to grow and rely on Him. And if I’m not on the right road, I trust that He will redirect.
This was such an encouraging visual for this season. Because the truth is, I have no idea what the journey ahead looks like. Who does? Be still and abide in Him, He is faithful to those who wait on Him, and to those who follow when He says it’s time to move. The first step of obedience is to listen.
“Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success where ever you go.” ~ Joshua 1:7 (ESV)